Asian Muslimah Blog

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If I will to give just one piece of advice, I’d say marry someone kind.

Alhamdulillah. It’s overwhelming to know that we survived the first two years of our marriage. I’ve been married for more than two years now, and if I had to summarize the last two years in one word, I would say "adventure." It’s more of an adventure because it is the timeline where we had many firsts—our first apartment, our first huge fight, our first outing, and our first baby. The very first year was the most difficult and hardest for me. harder than any moment of the past 25 years of my existence in this world. My role as a wife has been put to the test many times, to the point that I have thought of giving up. I was pregnant that year and filled with thousands of emotions. Sometimes I couldn’t understand my husband or even myself.

As time goes by, we learn to cope with challenges as they come. During my first pregnancy, my husband was always at work, even the day before I gave birth to my baby. I always cry before bed and during prayer. It was a very difficult time, physically, emotionally, and even financially. I’m glad I have an understanding husband and an ever-kind father-in-law, whom I call "bapa." Bapa was more like family to me, and he treated me like his own family too. May Allah bless him more. I also learned to befriend a cat at that time. I named my cat Loki. I'm not a cat person, but that cat meant so much to me.

For me, the very secret technique to a good and healthy marriage is communication. I’m always an open book to my husband, and he’s the same with me. I always share everything with him. We talked a lot. We talked for hours and shared everything. from our daily meal to the color of his shoes. from the type of hijab and the dress I intend to wear. We always laugh. Sometimes we fight, but we do not let the day or night end without fixing it. We plan everything together. Every decision. Even the tiniest detail in a particular decision is considered. Of course, there were changes. Good changes. I noticed that we are more mature now. We think and speak carefully. We always avoid hurting each other, even during a fight. Because, whether we like it or not, we are already a family and, more importantly, parents. I’ve changed a lot. My husband once said, "Yum, nanay ka na talaga noh?" (Yum, you really are a mom now.) with a slight grin on his face. I know he loves what I have become.

We are always happy together and always grateful. My husband and I never fail to appreciate all of our blessings. Alhamdulillah. Problems are normal, but every time it gets on our nerves, we will compare ourselves to the less fortunate people, and in that way, the load becomes lighter. Alhamdulillah. We always have fun in everything we do. Sometimes, literally everything People used to say "age is just a number" because a few years from now we will reach the age of 30, but our minds are sometimes still like high school students.

I am happy to share that we are still watching the same anime that we used to watch when we were in elementary school. I think it is very important for married couples to keep having fun. We used to have date nights, which in my definition is a bed night plus a movie night, since we have a baby to attend to. We are studying and learning Islamic knowledge together at night. We call it "taalim." I'll read various hadiths and sirah (Sahaba's stories), and then we'll discuss them. We also love to watch Nouman Ali Khan’s Islamic lectures. We love to go to the "palengke" (public market) together and eat street foods. In our simple, spectacular lives, those are simple joys.

There were things that we hated about each other, too. Yes, I know. I know that sometimes I nag too much. I know my husband hated that. I nag about my husband’s annoying habits and troubling behavior, like not hanging his jacket, leaving his clothes anywhere, and spending hours on DOTA 2 or COC. Ughh! I’m like my mom now. I grew up with many brothers with the same habit, but I guess I’ll never get used to it. We will continue to have adventures in our lives because we love each other. It is so nice that we continue to learn from each other, and we have this feeling that it’s like we were married only yesterday. We feel so blessed. Alhamdulillah I have also become an expert on my Wizi-thingy. Here’s what I learned in the past two years:

It is fun.

Everything is more fun when I’m doing it with my husband. Simple things will become extraordinary, and great things are not so great when done without him. Even posting this blog is fun because he reads and criticizes it first.

He will become over-protective.

Even though we are already married, my husband is still overly protective of everything about me. I don’t see it as mistrust but rather as a sign of a loving and caring husband.

I am my husband’s kryptonite.

I smile, and his bad day is washed away. I always affect my husband’s mood. I am now always cheering him on and always giving him the response that he desires, so that he can conquer the world and feel like a king.

A hug behind the back is enough.

I'm not required to ask everything. When I notice my husband’s having a very bad day, I just hug him. Later, we will laugh it all off, and then he will tell his story in a better way.

Having a baby will make your relationship even more complete.

We are happier. We love our baby so much, and it gives us so much joy. The fights are fewer and shorter.

Always look beautiful.

I always make myself physically attractive, especially at night. Marriage is never an excuse to never care about your appearance. Actually, whatever I’m doing to myself to be attractive before marriage, I'm doubling it now. It is also stated in many hadith that a wife should beautify herself to please her husband and Allah (SWT).

Assalamu Alaykum!

4:02 AM 2 comments

Assalamu Alaykum!

Happy Eid’l Fitr.

Eid is one of my favorite days. It is the day when we Muslims are encouraged to wear our best clothes. This day, we are allowed to celebrate. Another thing that I love about Eid that actually gives me goosebumps is the long dua after the Eid salah. It is usually very emotional. It will make your heart melt, and you’ll repent right away.

This Eid, I didn’t get the chance to join the Eid salah because I have a red visitor, but I still went to the mosque with my son. We waited outside until the salah was over. I feel thankful this Eid because my family is complete and I can’t ask for anything. I’ve been away from my husband for two weeks this month, but we still managed to be together today. Eid is for family. Eid is best spent with family. All I can do with my two boys, Alhamdulillah, is thank Allah. Allah knows what’s in my heart and how happy I am for the huge blessing that I have.

I'm glad to see everyone gathered for Eid salah. All are equal. No racism. Everyone is prostrating on the ground. This morning I saw my former classmate, who is an ex-Roman Catholic and has now converted to Islam, and that was very nice seeing him for the first time wearing the traditional Muslim clothing, Alhamdulillah. People are happy. Although many Muslims are saddened by what’s happening now in Madinah, Istanbul, and other Muslim countries, May Allah grant them paradise.

Eidl' Fitr 2016