It is making me happy and sad at the same time. Seeing him grow day by day.

 It seems like it was just yesterday when he was spending most of the time in my arms. 

 He barely spent a brief time as a baby because I was already expecting my third kid before he turned one. As a result, I spent less time with him than I spent with his older brother. I regret it. He matured so quickly. It saddens me that he is growing so quickly because I did not realize it.

He is my second born and he is helping me take care of his "Kuya", who has autism, and also his little brother. He is just four years old and he is such a responsible and reliable kid. I did not mean to put such a responsibility on him. It just happened that he cared about his siblings as much as I did at his young age.

The other day, I saw him fixing his Kuya’s underwear. I was teary-eyed at that moment, and I realized that I am not alone in this autism journey. Dambo understands our situation. 

Motherhood is still new to me. Every day there are surprises, and I always find beauty in them. Sometimes it feels so hard and I can’t help but cry. Dambo will then talk to me and ask me innocent questions. Our conversation will end with topics about Spiderman. 

For now, I will use all the opportunities I can to be with them. I will share eye contact, hugs and kisses, and we will eat together because, I know, time is crazy fast.

Alhamdulillah.

         I Love you Dambo.